That’s how it started. Or maybe not. There are people that leave their footprints in your life path and they do not even know of how much their presence (or absence) has or had an impact in your existence. Yes, I know, it is a classic. Nevertheless, I like to remind myself that there must be a reason for this coming and going or for that specific thing to happen.
Getting a haircut, shaving my head basically, has to have a reason. I am not referring to the most obvious one: my hair got burnt after bleaching it for too long (no, I did not do it myself!) and I could not stand the frizzy, heavy, ugly look it had. It was unmanageable and I simply did not like it, so the only thing to do was to get rid of it and start anew. What is the not so obvious reason then? What if shaving my head meant something unconscious? What if there is actually something I have to learn from all this?
The last few months have been weird and crazy, in a way. Getting back to Italy for the summer had more consequences than expected. I never had surgery in my life until 2014 for example. I never had scars, not “important” ones at least and not so visible. Now I can basically play “connect the dots” with all the scars I have on my body, and this is because I had the last of three surgeries this year, in August, right before I flew back home: Boston. Yes, currently Bean-town is my home and I am a huge fan of that quote that says “home is a feeling, not a place” FYI!
The first two things I thought of when looking at myself in the mirror, with the hairdresser in the background saying “I am sorry” were: 1. I feel powerless, just like Samson, and I am not sure this is ok. 2. The only image striking me since last Saturday is a scene from the movie V for Vendetta (2006) (if you did not watch it you are missing something important, go watch it now!) and the part where Evey gets her head shaved by V:
“V: Fortunately, I got to you before they did.
Evey: You got to me? You did this to me? You cut my hair? You tortured me? You tortured me! Why?
V: You said you wanted to live without fear. I wish there’d been an easier way, but there wasn’t.”
Natalie Portman plays Evey. She then kept her shaved head for a while.
The next step was to check out if other women had an haircut for whatever reason. Sad to say, most of those I found are either actresses or celebrities, and it would be ok if not for the fact that they are ALL pretty women who would definitely look amazing even with a bird nest on their heads. The best is of course my beloved Charlize Theron in Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) playing Imperator Furiosa. She nailed it. But there are so many …
Now the “fun” begins. People have commented my change of look in so many ways I actually got tired of hearing any kind of appreciation, fake compliments, judgments, jokes… Today’s mood does not help either, but I will choke all my insecurities with music, as always.