…I am now a red velvet cupcake. Why? Well, apparently cutting your hair short makes everybody want to touch your head. This velvet-like appearance feels more like when a woman is pregnant and people want to touch her belly for luck or something like that. Weird, maybe cute, but weird. The coolest part is that I pictured myself as a red velvet cupcake the last time it happened (it was one of my Professors actually, following the office administrator and some colleagues!) and it was hilarious. RVC are my favorites. I was also considering dying my hair red because of this but NO, STOP this hair madness!!
When things like that happen to appear on my brain screen, if this makes any sense at all, I just need to remind myself I am not a movie and I need to change channel. Where is my remote? Give me my remote, turn me off. Puh-lease. But no, it’s not going to happen… and a horde of thoughts just starts raging in my head trying to make me feel dizzy and give up on rationality. Which would be good if only I could find someone who relates to this pretty easily. Uh, uh, nope. Not working. Game over.
Phases. Just phases. I heard someone say “it is just a phase”, and yes, since we all are going through different stages and times of our lives when we change, we evolve, we make mistakes, we either learn from them or we run from them, it does not really matter. This thing of getting a haircut should not have an impact on either me or my life but it does. It just sums up to other things that I let influence my existence. Also, there are not so many things as bothering as looking at your image reflected in the mirror without being able to recognize yourself. I did not even have to cut my hair to feel like this before because it has happened so many times already …
One day I am 30 years old and I am responsible, the day before I was a 20-year-old brat screwing everything up pretending I was having fun. All the things I have done when I was 16 just get repeated, and the way I felt at 23 is just right here with me, digging holes through my stomach while I try to figure why this and this did not work out, or what I did right or wrong. Hanging on the wall, right in front of me, I have a poster saying “Rebirth, regeneration and re-emergence”, how is this not even a sign? Do signs exist at all? I don’t know, because this blog is called “god exists and she hates me” and I am expecting a sort of doomsday to fall over me anytime soon.
…and then a friend of mine sends me a snap while at a concert with his girlfriend (love you guys) with the video of a song which is going straight to my mood song section and I cannot help but think it has to be a sign. Welcome to my twisted mind world. Hope you feel comfortable enough. Are you working tonight? JK.