It may sound crazy, I know. All those times I wish I were invisible, juxtaposed to those other times I wish people could SEE me… and now this: nobody recognizes me anymore. It happened in August, when back to campus, I was meeting friends, colleagues and students, and every time I was saying “Hi, how are you?” it took them a couple of seconds (if not minutes) to realize the blonde who was talking to them was Laura. “Oh my God, you look so different!” and while smiling at them I was actually thinking “no, not really, but whatever you say”. Again, some liked my new look, some just did not even care (thank you!) and somebody else just honestly said they liked me better with my “original” color. This world is a wonderful place, isn’t it? Fun.
One of my friends here actually said something I have been trying to make people understand for such a long time: I am not my hair, I am not my loud voice (yeah, I forgot to mention that many people get annoyed by my voice which appears to be a little too loud for the average human being) so when she saw me, she did not notice the change of look or, at least, it was not as shocking as for the others. Her mind portrays my persona as several different features all mixed together to just be ME: the way I look, the way I sound, the way I walk… all at once. That’s me. Indeed.
I “work” the same way: when I see someone, it is not a matter of appearance or facial expressions, or color of their hair. Most of the times I recognize people from afar by the way they walk, the way they stand or sit on a bench, their profile, the way they move their hands, and for whatever reason, the aura they have around them precedes their mere external look. No, it is not a witchcraft word: aura. Oh wow, I just recalled a place in Melbourne I used to pass by while getting back from work: Witches in Britches. It was a restaurant where they used to have shows and events. Oh Melbourne, I so wish to walk through you again, someday.
Maybe it is actually a positive acknowledgment: by figuring who keeps on having a hard time recognizing me I should get that they lean on different viewpoints than mine… as if I cared that much! From Miley Cyrus blonde look, to Miley Cyrus shaved look, this comparison makes me laugh all the time, as in the past, when I got a haircut just not as drastic as this time, I remember people saying: why this look? Is this Jennifer Paige style? Also, people in here do not even know who Jennifer Paige is! I am laughing so hard I am crying. Or maybe not. How would you know anyway? Actually, this other thing makes me think of a meme where it shows that we, millennial people or so, write things like lol, rofl, lmao, or simply insert a smiley (emoji) but we are actually just staring seriously at our screens. True that. Sad but true. In a way we are simply saying that our soul is smiling though, it does not matter if our lips are actually in an upward half-moon shape or not. Who cares really?
One thought on “Ugh, who are you again?”
You are a beautiful writer. Stay confident, my love <3